


Cat and Cas

by poD7et



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Implied Castiel/Dean Winchester, M/M, Mary Winchester/Cas (brotp), Other, episode: s12e11 coda, larry - Freeform, rabbit genitalia, sam is so done with everything, the rabbit - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-13
Updated: 2017-02-13
Packaged: 2018-09-23 22:00:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,046
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9680813
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/poD7et/pseuds/poD7et
Summary: Dean's supposedly got his memories back, but Sam and Cas aren't convinced.





	

Sam and Dean sat at opposite ends of the bunker’s war table. Beer bottles, newspaper clippings, ancient books of lore, and beer bottles covered the map. They both jumped as a pounding echoed through the anteroom. Someone was at the door.

Dean looked at Sam, raising both eyebrows expectantly. “Well?”

“Well what?” Sam asked, shaking his eye with eyes wide. “It’s not my boyfriend.”

Dean groaned and rolled his eyes. He shoved his chair back petulantly and stomped up the stairs toward the door. Sam chuckled into his hand.

“And he’s not _my_ boyfriend either, Sammy.”

Dean opened the door. “Cas, you’re not my boyfriend,” Dean asserted.

Castiel narrowed his eyes trying to determine if he was missing a reference or if Dean was just being . . . well, Dean. “Hello, Dean.”

Dean licked his lips. “Heya!” Dean said, a genuine smile completely transforming the hunter’s face from a grumpy old man to a lovesick puppy.

Castiel smiled and opened his arms for an embrace. Dean wrapped one of Castiel’s hands with his own and walked past him into the sparse greenery surrounding the bunker.

Cas tracked the man to a small bush.

“Hey, buddy!” Dean cooed bending over to examine something inside the shrub.

Cas looked down at Sam who was still seated at the war table. Sam raised both arms in confused defeat. Cas located Dean who cradled something his left arm. Dean walked into the bunker, his free arm slung his arm around Cas, sporting a goofy grin.

“Sam,” Dean said settling back into his chair, “Cas,” he continued nodding at an empty chair, “I’d like you to meet Cat!” he finished, fondly stroking a small and furry animal.

Sam and Cas shared a concerned look.

“Dean?” said trying his best, but failing to keep his judgement of Dean’s mental state from his voice.

“I thought you said he was better,” Cas growled between clenched teeth, glaring at Sam before his expression softened and he moved to Dean’s side.

“And I am,” Dean asserted. “I-- this . . . I know it’s not a cat! It’s a rabbit. But his name is Cat. He’s my buddy.”

“How do you know it’s a he?” Cas asked at the same time Sam asked, “What’s my name?”

“I said I’m fine,” Dean groaned. “You’re Sam, he’s Cas, this is Cat, and I’m the king of the mole people.”

Sam jumped up and ran to Dean’s other side.

“Kidding. _Kidding_!”

“Yeah, but you still named a rabbit, Cat. I’m not sure that qualifies a decision a mentally stable human would make.”

“But that’s his name,” Dean insisted.

“What, did he tell you or something?” Sam asked.

Dean shot his brother a confused look. “Of course not. It’s a freaking rabbit.”

“So why did you name it Cat?”

“I don’t know. It just seemed like a Cat or something.” Dean grumbled and shooed away Cas and Sam and explained how he and Cat met in the woods after he had the whammy dropped on him. They bonded until Dean passed out and he even stayed with Dean until he woke up. And if watching someone while they sleep without expressed permission isn’t love, I don’t know what is.

Castiel rolled his eyes.

“And I know it’s a boy because . . .” Dean’s sentence got away from him.

“Well?” Sam asked.

“Because I just know? Okay?!” Dean shouted, as he stormed off to his room with Cat.

“What’s got his panties in a bunch?” Sam grumbled.

Cas quirked an eyebrow. The only time he recalled Dean getting his panties is a bunch was when Cas ripped them off, bunched them up, and stuffed them into Dean’s mouth after Sam complained that their ‘sparring practice’ was too loud.

\--*-----

Dean locked himself and Cat into his room. He placed the bunny on the bed while he stripped off his shirt and climbed under the covers. Cat hopped up onto Dean’s chest.

“Are you a boy?” Dean muttered, “How do I know? Of course, I know. You’re a boy . . . right”

Dean picked up the bunny again revealing his underside. His hand hovered over the bunny’s genitals, but then he opted for scratching his belly.

What am I even doing? Dean thought. I’m about to rub a rabbit’s nuts just to prove a point to Sam? Is this what I’ve become?

He let the bunny rest on his chest. He pattered around, finding a soft spot on Dean’s belly.

But it would be nice to prove Sam wrong, he thought. Everyone always thought he was such an idiot.

Dean picked up the bunny again and used his thumbs to search for the thing’s . . . thingy, or lack thereof as the case may be. He ran his fingers through the fur and out popped a little bitty bunny boner.

Dean punched the air.

“Alright Cat, let’s go find Cas!”

\--*-----

Back out in the war room Sam immersed in research.

Dean snuck up behind Sam. “Where’s Cas?” he asked, causing Sam to jump.

“I don’t know,” Sam answered, composing himself and finding his place in his book again.

“‘I don’t know.’” Dean mimicked. “What do you mean by that? He was just here. Where did he go?”

“I’m not his keeper, Dean,”

“Yeah, but he was here. With you. How could you just lose him?”

“I didn’t lose him. He was playing some game on his phone or something. He went out the front door.”

“Cas?” Dean asked, placing Cat on the war table. “Our Cas? ‘Make your voice a mail’ Cas? _That_ Cas? He was playing a game on his phone?”

“Yeah,” Sam snapped, his aggravation evident in his voice. “I think mom showed it to him.”

“Mom?”

“That’s what I said.”

“Well, what sorta game is it? And why do they need to go traipsing about for it?”

“I don’t know,” Sam answered, “but it’s some sort of scavenger hunt or something. And apparently Cas needed to go because he is an Angel of the Lord and . . . what did he say? ‘How is it that a human who has missed the last thirty years of technological advancement can ‘wipe the floor’ with me?’”

Dean smiled. Sam’s Cas impersonation was actually spot on: air quotes and all.

“I see,” Dean replied. “Alright, Cat. Let’s go find Cas.”

“What’s so important that you need to find Cas right now?” Sam asked innocently.

“I uhh . . . it’s . . . none of you damn business, Sammy.”

“Oh. _OH_! Oh . . .” Sam said. His expression changing from disappointment, to understanding, to disgust. “Definitely not my business.”

“Thanks.”

“I’ll just be here,” Sam whined, “doing the research. By myself. As always.”

“You’re a trooper,” Dean said, giving his brother a reassuring, but slightly patronizing pat on the back. “I’ll be back soon. C’mon, Cat!”

Cat the bunny hopped off the war table and followed Dean up the stairs.

Sam just stared. He had never seen a trained rabbit before. He didn’t even know that was a thing.

\--*----

Outside, Dean caught sight of footprints that could’ve only come from a certain angel’s dress shoes. He followed them behind the bunker to a place where the foliage was less sparse and Cas was staring at his phone intently. It looked like he was taking a picture of something on the ground.

Dean maneuvered to see what held Cas’s attention.

It was just a bunch of leaves. Granted they weren’t just your run of the mill weeds. The centers of the greenery ranged from green and white to brilliant pinks, purples, and blues. It was pretty cool, but not necessarily picture worthy.

Cat had a very different opinion. He hopped right over to the patch and started to nibble away.

“Hello, Cat,” Cas greeted, snapping another photo. “You’re a hungry girl.”

“Boy.” Dean snapped.

“Dean.”

“Cas, like I said, _he’s_ a boy.”

“Dean, I don’t mean to ‘burst your bubble,’ but your rabbit is a woman.”

“Cat, c’mere,” Dean called. The bunny looked longingly at its cabbage before hopping back to Dean. Dean scooped up the rabbit and pressed his thumbs into its belly. The baby bunny boner popped up again. “See? A healthy young, _male_ coney,” Dean declared happily.

“Dean, that’s--”

“Sorry Cas. But you’re wrong on this one,” Dean argued, pointing at the rabbit’s little fifth appendage.

“That’s not what you think it is,” Cas replied.

Dean squinted at Cas. He seemed fairly confident. And it wasn’t like the angel to make things up. Dean and Cas stared at each other trying to find answers.

 _Ping_.

That was Cas’s phone. He became agitated and started to tap out a text. When he finished, he pulled up one of the plants. Cat struggled in Dean’s arms to get at the cabbage, but Cas yanked it away.

“That’s alright, little guy.”

“Girl,” Cas insisted. “Both the male and female oryctolagus cuniculus--”

“Orek lager cuticle?”

“A common _rabbit_ ,” Cas continued while Dean whispered something about how Cat wasn’t common and a great friend, “regardless of sex has a protruding sex organ.. However, the structure that you’ve pointed out is not a penis, but a vulva.”

“Hmm,” Dean said, reappraising his rabbit. “Guess that’s why she’s called Cat. Makes more sense as a chick’s name. Maybe she’s a Catherine.”

“You . . . didn’t name the rabbit?”

“No, Cas,” Dean said, shaking his head, “like I said before, that’s just its name.”

“Huh.”

“Whatever, let’s just get back to the bunker,” Dean said. “Sammy can’t do all the research himself.”

\--*-----

Back in the bunker, Dean sat with Sam at the war table while Cas failed to help with any sort of research and just went off to wherever it was that he always disappeared to with his cabbage. Even Cat didn’t stick around. She ran down one of the bunkers many hallways.

“What’s his deal?” Sam asked.

Dean made a noise in the back of his throat, got up, leaving Sam all alone yet again.

\--*-----

Cas opened the door to his room. It wasn’t a bedroom, but then again, Castiel didn’t require sleep. It was small, but hidden away and the boys hadn’t found it yet. Once inside, he set down his cabbage and started to finger the leaves into picture perfect positions. He pulled out his phone and opened up an app. He proceeded to snap photos of the vegetation . . . until he realized that he wasn’t alone.

A small bunny hopped to the cabbage and eyed it hungrily.

“What are you?” Cas whispered, bending over to pet the creature.

Cat nibbled curious at the cabbage.

Cas let out a breath he didn’t realize he was holding. “Just a rabbit,” he said shaking his head. You’re becoming almost as paranoid as the Winchesters.”

Cat continued to nibble cabbage, tipping it over and chewing the colored center leaves.

Cas smiled and left the room.

\--*-----

Dean locked the door to his room and donned his headphones. He knew that Sam would laugh, but when he found an old-school walkman in the bunker, he knew it was meant to be. He popped in The Black Album and lost himself in the music.

He grabbed for Cat to engage in comfort cuddles. But she wasn’t there. Dean remembered that she jumped off with Cas and he groaned. He got up to search for his new friend.

In the hallway, Dean spotted faint bunny prints on the bunker floor. He followed them to one of the unoccupied rooms.

Inside he saw Cat doing things he wished he could unsee with Cas’s Cabbage.

He didn’t want to cuddle with her now.

Dean quietly backed out of the room.

He needed to get rid of some stress. He couldn’t cuddle with Cat, and Sam and Cas were both pissed at him.

That’s when he remembered Larry.

\--*-----

Dejected, Cas sent an out-of-game text to Mary. She was one of the few people on Earth that Cas felt he could be completely honest with.

She said she’d be right over.

\--*-----

Mary pulled into the garage not long after Dean had left.

She sent Cas a text to let him know she was here.

They drove off

\--*-----

Dean drove to Larry. He still couldn’t remember his first ride, but his second ranked on his top 10 favorite memories of all time: just behind his memory of the first time he mounted a mechanical bull.

Dean entered the bar and was surprised to see Elka was on duty. What were the chances?

“Hey!” Dean said, offering her a bashful smile and waving.

“Hey, you!” She answered. “Back for Larry?” she joked.

“Actually,” Dean said, rubbing the back of his head, “yes. Gotta blow off some steam, if ya know what I mean.”

Elka smiled. “I get it,” she said handing Dean a remote. “I set up a remote control rig since the last time you were here. I’ll be back in an hour.”

“Thanks, Elkie,” Dean said, pulling out his most charming smile.

“Hey!” Elkie warned, “None of that! I’m still not over the last time.”

“Not my fault I’m so ruggedly handsome,” Dean joked as he watched Elka disappear into the backroom.

Dean shoved the remote in his pocket and walked over to Larry. He stroked the back of the bully and smiled lovingly. He remembered the first time he rode a bull. He snuck into a bar while Dad was out on a hunt and Sammy was asleep -- his courage enhanced by a couple of beers -- to the whispered jeers of the bar patrons. The slight mechanical buzz between his legs and the adrenaline of the ride gave him a high he hadn’t felt since. He loved the lack of control and even though he landed on his back with the wind knocked clean out of him, he smiled. He had the second best time of the bar. The praise of the bar’s other patrons stuck with him, even now. But outside of that, he wasn’t able to tell anyone else. He couldn’t tell his dad and he certainly couldn’t tell his little snitch of a brother, Sam. But for one night he was king of the world.

“Larry,” he whispered, as he mounted the machine, “we have some unfinished business.”

\--*-----

“Cas!” Mary called before she even stepped outside of her car.

“Mary.”

“Are you okay? What’s wrong?”

“I-- I’m fine.”

“No, you’re not.” Mary said, wrapping the angel in a motherly embrace.

“No . . .” Cas agreed, lowering his chin to his chest, “I’m not.”

“Good thing I know just the cure for that,” Mary said with a smile, ushering Cas to the passenger side door.

“What’s that?” Cas asked, buckling his belt.

“A long drive, good music, and too much whiskey.”

Cas and Mary shared a smile as she pulled out of the bunker’s garage.

\--*-----

Dean lay splayed over Larry, breathing hard.

Elka walked in with a smile. She didn’t spy on Dean’s alone time, but she had a pretty good idea of what Dean and Larry did during their sessions.

And that was when the door opened.

“We’re closed,” Elka said, walking toward the door.

“It’s okay, Elkie,” Dean said, running toward the guests.

Elka and Dean shared a wordless exchange. She locked the door behind the unexpected guests and then retired to the back room again.

“Cas,” Dean said, catching his breath and regaining his composure.

“Dean?” Mary asked.

“Mom?” Dean asked, wondering how long his mother and best friend had been standing by the entrance way.

“So you need to unwind too?” Mary asked.

“Y-yeah. Want a drink?” Dean asked brandishing a bottle of house whiskey.

“So that girl?” Mary asked with eyebrows raised.

“Mom!” Dean said, the embarrassment showing in his cheeks.

“None of my business,” Mary said, arms raised in defeat. “Got it!”

Cas hadn’t said a word yet. He wouldn’t even look Dean in the eye. Dean followed his gaze to the mechanical bull and smiled devilishly.

“That’s Larry,” Dean said, “And he’s a hellova ride.”

“Larry . . .” Cas said, not taking his eyes off the bull.

“I could teach you to ride,” Dean said, sidling up to Cas.

“He’s got a talent for it,” Mary said. “I think I’m going to head to the little girls’ room. You guys play nice.”

Mary didn’t go anywhere near the bathroom. Instead she walked toward Elka’s office. The door opened before she knocked. Mary saw a TV showing several angles of the bar.

Elka indicated that Mary pull up a chair. She already had beer and popcorn at the ready. The girls were in for a long time of vegging out to reality TV.

\--*-----

Back at the bunker, Sam was lonely. He couldn't find his brother, the angel, or even the damned rabbit . . . Cat . . . cat-rabbit . . . Dean's furry friend. The phrasing of that left a bitter taste in Sam's brain. He knew that Dean was into some weird porn.

Anyway, Sam wasn't making any headway in his research on the "devil baby mama drama" so he decided to clear his head. He was sure that despite Sam and Dean's best efforts, the Men of Letter's bunker still held more secrets.

Sam went exploring. 

As he walked through the hallway he was pretty sure he heard a rustling. He gingerly propped his fingers against the wall and leaned his ear toward the spot where the sound was the loudest. There was definitely something there. Sam tip-toed to the armory to grab a weapon, then back at the wall, he tried to find a way in.

And that's when he noticed it. A seam in the wall paper that wasn't so much as a seam as it was a doorway. A quick search revealed the mechanism to enter: an honest to goodness sconce lever. And he couldn't believe what he saw . . .

A naked blonde, lying on the floor with green and purple leaves strewn over her body.

Sam almost felt sorry for her until recognition set in.

"Cat?" he called, hoping the woman was dead or at the very least unconscious. 

The woman stirred.

"Catriona?" Sam continued, poking her with a toe.

"Where am I?" she asked timidly.

So Rowena wasn't the only one who could make a horcrux.

"Who are you?" she asked, voice quavering.

"Me?" Sam asked with a devilish smile. "I'm Sam. Sam Winchester." He delighted to see a look of terror replace the one of confusion on her face. "And this? This is hell."

**Author's Note:**

> This is an @spncoldesthits. Obviously.  
> I'm so sorry (not sorry).


End file.
